


The Colours That I Can't Change

by TemporaryInsanity777



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band), Laucy, Lucy Vives - Fandom, camila cabello - Fandom, camren, lauren jauregui - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Camren - Freeform, F/F, Fifth Harmony - Freeform, Friendship, Love, camila Cabello - Freeform, lauren jauregui - Freeform, relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-18 13:59:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9388199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TemporaryInsanity777/pseuds/TemporaryInsanity777
Summary: Lauren tries to let Lucy rebuild, what Camila shattered into more pieces than there were stars in the sky. Her heart. But Lauren knows deep down, that the only person who can do that is the petite brunette that walked out of her heart, her life and their band six months ago.





	1. Bananas and Bobby Pins.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I'm back! I hope everyone had a wonderful christmas and new year! I have written a million different beginnings, to a million different stories...and nothing felt right enough to post until this one. So I hope everyone enjoys it.

Lauren laid on another bed, in another hotel, in another city. The raven haired woman used to keep track of her global galavanting, but these days the cities, and the world merely passed by in the same colourful blur. Lauren opened her emerald green eyes, and they focused on the banana patterns that decorated the table cloth on the near by table. The corners of her plump lips tugged into a sad smile.

 

**_"LoLo! Are you awake?" Camila whispered as she gently slid into the empty space in Lauren's double bed._ **

 

**_The older girl didn't even stir, prompting Camila to bite her lip as she pondered how to go about waking her girlfriend without having her soul devoured by the sleeping beauty. The younger girl smirked as an idea cultivated within her, she loved that she knew Lauren better than Camila even knew herself._ **

 

**_Camila leaned down, and placed a soft kiss just below Lauren’s ear. She smiled as the other girl softly moaned in her sleep. The raven haired girl loved when Camila kissed there, it sent goosebumps and butterflies coursing through her entire body. The younger brunette placed a second kiss in the same spot, followed by a third, and a fourth._ **

 

**_“Baby, wake up.” Camila softly cooed into Lauren’s ear, as the taller girl continued to stir beside her._ **

 

**_Lauren moaned in her sleep again._ **

 

**_“If you keep kissing me there, I promise not to kill you for waking me up.” Lauren said sleepily._ **

 

**_Camila chuckled and placed another chaste kiss in the spot that her girlfriend loved so much. Lauren smiled happily, and turned over to face the other girl. Lauren was met with the milky chocolate eyes that made her swoon every single time she looked into them. Lauren loved that fact that even in the dark hotel room they were laying in, she could still see the infinite amounts of warmth that Camila’s big, beautiful brown eyes held. Lauren had spent the last few years memorising every shade, every intricate line and detail of those eyes that she loved so much._ **

 

**_Lauren reluctantly tore her own eyes away from those magical brown ones, and glanced at the clock that sat perched on the side table next to the hotel bed._ **

 

**_“Baby, it’s 3:30 in the morning.” Lauren stated as she stifled a yawn before returning her gaze to her ‘unusual for 3:30 in the morning’ bubbly girlfriend._ **

 

**_“I want a banana.” Camila replied matter of factly, with a smile from ear to ear, spread across her face._ **

 

**_“It’s 3:30 in the morning.” Lauren repeated, as if Camila missed that vital point._ **

 

**_Camila chuckled and pecked Lauren softly on her lips._ **

 

**_“I heard you the first time silly. But i’m having a craving, a super craving.” Camila explained, her smile almost physically dripping off every word._ **

 

**_Lauren raised her eyebrow questioningly._ **

 

**_“A super craving?” The older raven haired girl questioned._ **

 

**_Camila nodded vigorously._ **

 

**_“It’s like a craving…but more. A super craving.” Camila explained with so much assurance in her voice, confident that she was making complete sense._ **

 

**_Lauren couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped passed her lips._ **

 

**_“Dork. It’s 3:30 in the morning Camz, I doubt any stores are open to fulfil your SUPER early morning, SUPER craving.” Lauren replied, sarcastically emphasising the her ‘super’ words._ **

 

**_Lauren pulled her comforter up over her face and rolled over, signalling that she was returning to her peaceful, deep slumber. She did so, just in time to miss Camila roll her eyes to Lauren’s predicted response._ **

 

**_Camila pulled the comforter back down, earning a frustrated but playful groan from her sleepy girlfriend._ **

 

**_“Camz…” Lauren whined as she searched aimlessly for the comforter with her hand._ **

 

**_“I know everything is closed Lo, that’s why I have a Plan B.” Camila replied with excitement, and a wiggle of her eyebrows._ **

 

**_Lauren sat up in defeat, and searched for the lamp to illuminate the room._ **

 

**_“Of course you do.” Lauren said as she turned on the lamp. Lauren returned her attention back to her banana craving girlfriend, and again, couldn’t stop the smile that perfectly formed on her porcelain face._ **

 

**_Camila smiled back, curiously._ **

 

**_“What are you smiling at?” Camila pondered out loud._ **

 

**_Lauren leaned forward and cupped Camila’s face in her hands, before leaning in and capturing her lips in a passionate kiss._ **

 

**_“It’s just that you are the only person I know who can look so completely, effortlessly perfect at this hour.” Lauren answered quietly as she broke the kiss and rested her forehead against Camila’s._ **

 

**_Camila’s breath hitched in her throat as Lauren spoke._ **

 

**_She never really got used to Lauren’s compliments, and they never stopped making her heart race. She didn’t think she would ever grow tired of Lauren’s unconditional love._ **

 

**_Camila regained her composure and pulled Lauren into a tight hug before reconnecting their lips, in a more heated kiss. Camila’s teeth pulled at Lauren’s lower lip, before running her tongue over it, silently begging for entrance, which Lauren happily granted._ **

 

**_As suddenly as Camila’s lips were dancing on Lauren’s, they were gone. By the time Lauren’s eyes fluttered open, Camila was already half way across the room._ **

 

**_“Come on, let’s get me some bananas.” She squealed happily over her shoulder._ **

 

**_Before her half asleep brain could catch up to her body, Lauren found herself in front of a locked kitchen door, somewhere on a lower level of the hotel._ **

 

**_“Oh damn, look at that, it’s locked! Let’s go back to bed.” Lauren feigned sadness, but enthusiasm was painfully evident in her husky tone._ **

 

**_Camila chuckled and grabbed Lauren’s arm just in time, before the older girl could turn around and disappear down the dark corridor._ **

 

**_“Here, hold this.” Camila requested as she handed Lauren her phone with the torch light illuminating the space around them._ **

 

**_Lauren watched in mild curiosity, as Camila kneeled down in front of the door, and pulled two bobby pins out of her messy, but still overwhelmingly attractive bun. Lauren’s curiosity quickly turned into amusement as she watched Camila attempt to pick the lock on the kitchen door. The raven haired girl couldn’t help but giggle._ **

 

**_“Camz, I’m fairly sure that picking locks with bobby pins only works in movies.” Lauren  spoke, stifling a laugh._ **

 

**_Just as Lauren finished speaking, the sound of the lock popping open sounded through her ears, and her eyes widened in sheer surprise with a hint of amazement._ **

 

**_Camila stood up and took a proud bow._ **

 

**_“Ta-da!” She exclaimed proudly._ **

 

**_Lauren was still paralysed with bewilderment. Her mesmerising green eyes were wide open, and her perfectly shaped mouth hung agape._ **

 

**_“How did you?…”Lauren began, but was unable to finish her sentence. She was lost for words._ **

 

**_Camila’s beautiful laugh rang through Lauren’s ears like a beautifully composed song._ **

 

**_“I learned off youtube.” Camila replied as she pecked Lauren on the tip of her nose, before opening the large silver door that heavily guarded the kitchen._ **

 

**_Lauren rolled her eyes, not in the least bit surprised at Camila’s response._ **

 

**_“My only question is, and I can’t stress enough how important this is, why?” Lauren asked as she followed Camila into the dark, and empty kitchen._ **

 

**_Camila didn’t waste any time in locating the bananas, and jumped up onto a bench, her toned legs hanging casually off the side, as she began to peel the yellow fruit._ **

 

**_“I thought it might come in handy one day, and I was right.” Camila said, as she winked at her amused girlfriend before taking a bite of her favourite food in the world. She could say that with complete confidence now, she had been to almost every country._ **

 

**_Lauren’s own throaty laugh rang through the room as she too helped herself to a banana and made herself at home between Camila’s parted legs, their faces in close proximity._ **

 

**_“Well aren’t you just full of surprises Camila Cabello.” Lauren said, her voice low and huskier than ever._ **

 

**_Lauren didn’t remotely care if Camila still had banana in her mouth, as she reconnected their lips in a slow and sensual kiss._ **

 

 

“Lauren! Are you in there?” Dinah’s voice sounded through the room, followed by a loud and obnoxious knocking.

 

The persistent banging broke Lauren free from her reminiscent thoughts. In a swift and hurried motion, the dark haired girl wiped an estranged tear from the corners of her puffy eyes. She didn’t even realise she had been crying. Lauren didn’t even bother removing her clothes from the day as she crawled under the covers, pulling them up over her head just like that night she was half-heartedly trying to escape from Camila. Tonight though, just like each and every night for the past six months, she would sell her soul to the devil himself just to be woken by Camila at any ridiculous hour just one more time. 

 

“I don’t think she’s in there.” Dinah said nonchalantly on the other side of Lauren’s hotel door.

 

Lauren listened as she heard Dinah, Ally and Normani whisper outside the door. Lauren didn’t know how long it had been before she realised the girl’s voices had disappeared, leaving Lauren alone with her thoughts and memories.

 

It never stopped being crazy to Lauren how so much changed in a single year.

 


	2. The Mile High Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, thank you so much for the hits and kudos! It makes me exceptionally happy! Happy reading! :)

Chapter Two - The Mile High Club

 

Lauren closed her eyes, and rested her head against the cold, hard window in the boarding area of LAX. Home time, finally. Lauren, Dinah, Ally and Normani had worked their asses off the last six months, and they were all parting ways for a well deserved break.

 

“LAX to Miami, boarding now.” A female voice spoke over the speakers, deriving the simultaneous rise of bodies from the seats they were all occupying. 

 

Lauren stood up, and assured the hood of her leather jacket was still in place. It didn’t do much to mask her identity, but she was pleasantly surprised how wrapped up people were in their various activities to occupy themselves, while they waited. She wasn’t complaining, normally she had all the time in the world to greet her fans, but today…today she valued her anonymity. 

 

The beautiful raven haired girl gathered her belongings and lined up ready to board the plane. The sad smile that had become an almost permanent fixture on Lauren’s face recently, crept up again as she observed two teenage girls in front of her laughing, and joking with each other as they waited to board the plane as well. Her eyes drifted to the identical silver chains that clung to the back of their necks. Lauren imagined that they were the ‘Best Friend’ necklaces she had seen so often. 

 

Her eyes wondered downwards slightly and Lauren noticed that their fingers were interlocked. A sharp sensation vibrated through her heart, before it felt heavy in her chest. It was as if a double ended needle was bouncing off the walls of her heart, like the silver ball in a pinball machine bounced up and down the flat surface. Lauren wondered if they were just best friends showing their platonic love for one another, or if they were lovers like her and Camila used to be. 

 

 

_**Lauren felt a tickle on her nose, as she slowly awoke from her slumber. She scratched at her nose, and her finger tips were met with a cold, creamy substance. Lauren’s eyes shot open in a panic, and her eyes were drawn to the cream that was currently painted on her finger tips.** _

 

_**Lauren’s eyes shot to the brunette sitting in the seat next to her on their flight, the same brunette who was trying with every fibre of her being to not burst into a fit of laughter.** _

 

_**“What the hell Camz?” Lauren said as she hesitantly smelt the white substance. Whipped cream.** _

 

_**Camila could no longer contain herself, as that sweet laughter erupted from inside her. Her big, brown eyes met the glare of the mesmerising green ones adjacent to her.** _

 

_**“I’m sorry Lolo!” Camila lied. She wasn’t remotely sorry. Her girlfriend was adorable when she was pissed.** _

 

_**Lauren’s eyes softened as she watched her goofy girlfriend lose herself in her laughter, as if there was nobody around. It melted her heart. Camila made it so hard to stay mad at her. She could however, seek a little revenge.** _

 

_**“Where did you even get cream from at 30,000 feet in the air?” Lauren queried as she slowly sucked the cream off her finger.** _

 

_**In that moment, you could hear a pin drop. Camila’s eyes had slightly darkened a shade or two, and her bottom lip had become trapped between her impeccably white teeth.** _

 

_**“The uh- you know, the trolley uh- thing.” Camila stuttered out, not able to tear her eyes away from the overly sexually was Lauren has chosen to clean herself.** _

 

_**Lauren’s lips curled into a sultry smirk, as she watched Camila’s entire composure alter in half a moment.** _

 

_**“Whatcha looking at Camz?” Lauren teased, knowing perfectly well what Camila was so transfixed by.** _

 

_**In one slow and agonising motion, Lauren deliberately and slowly sucked the last of the cream off her finger and finished with a small pop of her lips. Lauren wasn’t sure if it was the noise she made that broke Camila free from her trance, or if Camila suddenly found the fluffy white clouds overly interesting, but Camila’s eyes were now glued to the window of their plane. Camila’s body tensed the moment Lauren put her hand on Camila’s leg.** _

 

_**“Excuse me, I have to go to the uh- bathroom.” Camila stuttered out nervously as she abruptly stood up.** _

 

_**Just as quickly as Camila had stood up, Lauren extended her leg to block Camila’s exit from their seats.** _

 

_**“Everything okay Camz?” Lauren asked as innocently as she could, not breaking eye contact with Camila for a moment. She fought against the smirk threatening to break free on her face.** _

 

_**Lauren unzipped her leather jacket, exposing her low cut tank top that accentuated her perfectly round breasts. The raven haired girl watched as the shorter girl gulped, her eyes glued to Lauren’s cleavage.** _

 

_**“Bathroom.” The only word Camila seemed to be able to choke out.** _

 

_**Lauren smirked as she moved her legs, and followed Camila with her eyes to the back of the plane, only tearing her eyes away when she heard the door slam. Lauren waited a few moments before looking around to see if anyone was watching. The flight was fairly quiet, and the other passengers were either sleeping or engaged in the movie that was playing on the screens in front of them. Lauren smiled as she casually slipped out of her seat and sauntered to the bathroom Camila was occupying.** _

 

_**Knock. Knock. Knock.** _

 

_**“Uh - Just a second.” Camila stumbled over her words through the door.** _

 

_**The door slowly crept opened, and Lauren was met with a flushed faced Camila. Before Camila had time to blink, Lauren had pushed her back inside the bathroom, following her carefully before closing and locking the door behind them.** _

 

_**“Fancy joining the mile high club?” Lauren spoke quietly and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, her voice was raspier than Camila had ever heard before.** _

 

_**Camila was overwhelmed by how quickly Lauren could turn her on.** _

 

_**Lauren barely had time to admire how heavy Camila’s eyelids had weighed down on her lust filled eyes before the younger girl had pulled her into a searing kiss. Camila hastily pulled down the zipper of Lauren’s leather jacket, and pushed it off her shoulders as she connected her lips to Lauren’s neck, biting it before soothing it over with her tongue.** _

 

_**A quiet string of moans slipped passed Lauren’s plump lips as she gently dug her nails into the exposed hips. Lauren loved when Camila wore midriffs and skirts.** _

 

_**Just as Camila finally won the battle with the zipper of Lauren’s skinny jeans, another loud series of loud knocks sounded loudly through the tight space the two lovers had decided to Christen. Lauren and Camila froze, both women’s eyes locked onto the other, deciding what they were going to do.** _

 

_**“Just a minute.” Camila squeaked out as Lauren covered her mouth with her hand to stop a laugh that was threatening to make an already peculiar situation worse.** _

 

_**Lauren and Camila promptly adjusted their clothes, and their hair before hesitantly opening the door. A woman in her 60’s stood on the other side of the door widened her eyes in surprise, understandably not expecting two people to be occupying the bathroom.** _

 

_**“Sorry, she has flight sickness….” Lauren lied as she rubbed Camila’s back for extra emphasis.** _

 

_**The woman nodded, seemingly skeptical before her eyes raked over a flushed Camila. Her eyes softened before she placed a comforting hand on Camila’s shoulder.** _

 

_**“Well I hope you feel better dear.” The older woman said with a sympathetic smile, as the two younger girls made their way out of the bathroom.** _

 

_**Camila cradled her stomach, feigning illness.** _

 

_**“Yeah, thank you.” Camila said with a weak smile.** _

 

_**As the sound of the bathroom door clicking locked, Lauren and Camila half ran back to their seats before collapsing into their seats in a fit of laughter.** _

 

_**“Flight sickness?” Camila questioned, finally managing to calm herself.** _

 

_**Lauren bit her lip to subside her own laughter.** _

 

_**“Yeah, like sea sickness..but you know, in the air, on a flight.” Lauren explained nonchalantly, only triggering another round of the giggles from Camila.** _

 

_**Lauren narrowed her eyes at her beautiful girlfriend, realising that Camila was now laughing at her as opposed to with her.** _

 

_**“You are an idiot.” Camila said through the tears in her eyes, caused by the heavy laughter.** _

 

_**Lauren nudged Camila in the shoulder.** _

 

_**“Shut up, it was the first thing that came to my mind.” Lauren whined.** _

 

_**Camila nodded, as she bit her lip in an attempt to repress another need to laugh. Both girls eyes locked onto each other’s again, neither knew how many seconds, or minutes had passed before both of the Cuban girls surrendered to another fit of giggles. Lauren and Camila were so amused at how blissfully unaware the lady was, at what she almost walked in on.** _

 

 

“Boarding pass ma’am?” A lady’s voice spoke, breaking Lauren free from her thoughts.

 

 Lauren’s mind was brought back down to earth, and she noticed that the line in front of her had dispersed, and it was just her left to board the plane back home to Miami. Lauren handed over her boarding pass, and politely smiled at the waiting lady.

 

“Enjoy your flight Miss Jaurgeui.” She said cordially, as she handed Lauren back her boarding pass.

 

Lauren smiled again.

 

“Thank you.” The raven haired girl replied as she began her walk down the long tunnel to the plane.

 

As Lauren took her seat in the business class, her mind momentarily wondered back to the trip she had just taken down memory lane. It was still weird catching a flight alone, Camila always sat next to her during tours, but especially on their flight back home to Miami. The emerald eyed beauty pushed Camila out of mind, and put her earphones in. She pressed play on her iPod, and let the music take over her mind, as she rested her head back in her seat.

 

It never stopped being crazy to Lauren how so much changed in a single year.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please drop a comment below, I love reading everyone's thoughts. :)


	3. Baggage and Carousels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you all had a good weekend. Finally got a chance to update, enjoy! :)

**Chapter Three - Baggage and Carousels.**

 

 

Lauren must have fallen asleep, because before she knew it, the air hostess put her hand on the raven-haired girl’s shoulder, and shook it lightly.

 

“We are almost ready for landing Miss.” The woman said with an apologetic smile. 

 

Lauren nodded in understanding, and stifled a yawn.

 

“Thank you.” Lauren replied with a small smile. 

 

Lauren sat up straight, and adjusted her clothing. She packed up her iPod and put it safely away in her bag. A magazine in the back pocket of the seat in front of her, caught her eye, and Lauren decided to flick through it to distract herself from the dreaded landing.

 

Lauren hated tabloids. They frequently lied, but they were entertaining none-the-less.

 

‘Lauren Jauregui stuns in sheer white dress.’ Lauren read the caption attached to a photo of her from an awards ceremony.

 

‘Well sometimes they get it right.’ She thought to herself with a smile.

 

Lauren turned the page, and her heart constricted as her gaze fell on those familiar, beautiful brown eyes that Lauren had spent so many years memorising. Eyes she had seen crinkle in the corners as Camila laughed, and the same eyes she had seen shed a thousand tears. Lauren froze, unsure if she wanted to read the article or not. She actively avoided anything to do with Camila. She avoided seeing Camila, talking about Camila and especially thinking about Camila. Reading about her was no different. She avoided all things Camila, because the petite brunette still made Lauren feel like she couldn’t breathe. But it wasn’t in the way it used to be. 

 

Camila always had this was of making Lauren forget how to breathe. The way she looked at Lauren like there was nobody else in the world that would ever love her as much Camila did, or the way Camila’s gaze penetrated every fibre of Lauren’s being when they made love, making the green eyed girl feel so completely naked, and vulnerable, but Lauren had never felt safer. Lauren especially forgot how to breathe every single time Camila kissed her, because Lauren’s urgent need for the other girl’s soft lips always became more imperative than oxygen. And Lauren definitely forgot how to breathe when Camila simply touched her, because the sensation without fail every time, sent a wave of heat and fire through the older girl’s heart, body and soul that distracted Lauren from the simple task of inhaling and exhaling. 

 

Camila still makes Lauren feel like she can’t breathe. Only now, it’s because every time the mere thought of Cuban born girl made Lauren’s heart clench in the most agonising and paralysing way, that she was so sure it rendered her lungs useless, and incapable of holding on to the oxygen that Camila took right out of her. It made her just want to fall to the ground and succumb to the emotional injury Camila left her with. 

 

Before Lauren could decide if she wanted to read the article or not, the plane that she didn’t even realise had landed came to a stop by the terminal. The raven haired girl shut the magazine and gathered her belongings before making her way off the plane and towards the arrival gate. 

 

Lauren used to love airports. She always associated them with so much pure love. Lauren loved to watch as people greeted loved ones with a hug, and a kiss. Or people wishing loved ones a safe trip with a 'good-bye for now', and an 'I love you.' Lauren used to love airports. Not today, and not this airport.

 

As Lauren made her way down to the luggage collection area, her heart began to palpitate, and tears created the all to familiar burning sensation as they welled in her flawlessly beautiful green eyes. Her breath quickened and became increasingly more shallow with every step she took as she neared the same spot her life crumbled around her as Lauren watched helplessly. 

 

 

_**“Lauren?” Camila whispered, as she grasped the taller girl’s arm to still her.** _

 

_**Lauren turned to look at her girlfriend, as they stood by the baggage collection area in the arrivals gate. The older girl’s expression reflected that of worry, and concern. Camila never called Lauren by her full name. It was always ‘baby’ or ‘Lolo’. Never just ‘Lauren’. The use of her full name did nothing to help the growing concern and paranoia that had been festering inside Lauren for weeks, as her girlfriend became increasingly more distant with each day that passed.** _

 

_**“Yes baby?” Lauren replied, forcing a self assuring smile.** _

 

_**Lauren’s self assurance quickly crumbled when she saw Camila physically flinch at the pet name.** _

 

_**“I - I need to talk to you.” Camila said hesitantly, her voice seeping out fear with every syllable.** _

 

_**Lauren found comfort in denial.** _

 

_**“Sure, what is it pretty girl?” Lauren answered, her smile not wavering as she brought her hand up to Camila’s cheek.** _

 

_**They obviously weren’t accustomed to showing affection to one another in public, even though it always killed them to hide it. But today, a voice somewhere inside Lauren, somewhere way past her denial, a voice was telling her to hold on to Camila and never let go.** _

 

_**Lauren ignored the sting in her chest as Camila took a step back from Lauren.** _

 

_**“We can’t - I can’t -“ Camila began, as she struggled to put her words together.** _

 

_**Lauren held her breath.** _

 

_**“I can’t be with you anymore.” Camila said finally, as she looked past Lauren, unable to look her in the eye.** _

 

_**Camila was terrified of what she might see. But to her surprise, Lauren chuckled as she nudged Camila in the shoulder.** _

 

_**“Good one Camz, now let’s get home already.” Lauren said as she picked up her bags.** _

 

_**Camila blinked in surprise, opening her mouth a few times to speak but failing. Lauren grabbing hold of her hand, and pulling her towards to exit seemed to snap her out of stupor.** _

 

_**“No, Lauren! Listen to me!” Camila almost yelled as she yanked her hand out of Lauren’s grasp.** _

 

_**Lauren’s breath hitched in her throat, as she turned back to look at Camila.** _

 

_**“I can’t be with you anymore, i’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Camila spoke quieter now.** _

 

_**Camila’s eyes met Lauren’s for the first time as the raven-haired girl stared intensely at her, not the slightest hint of emotion behind her green eyes. Silence took over as both girls maintained the staring contest, and neither girl was sure how much time had passed before Lauren finally spoke.** _

 

_**“It’s the hiding our relationship thing right? It will be okay Camz, just one more album and then we can come out, now let’s go home.” Lauren said as she tried to reach for Camila’s hand again.** _

 

_**Camila pulled her hand back harshly this time, her composure changing into one of anger.** _

 

_**“No! Lauren.” Camila snapped sharply, regretting it instantly when she saw the light from Lauren’s famously intense, and beautiful green eyes, dissapear.** _

 

_**It was Lauren’s turn to flinch at Camila’s words this time.** _

 

_**"It’s not - It’s not that. I don’t love you anymore, I don’t feel the same about us anymore.” Camila said quietly, her own voice course and rigid. Almost broken.** _

 

_**Lauren’s gaze never shifted from Camila, as the older girl processed Camila’s words.** _

 

_**“Please don’t leave me. I’ll be better, i’ll do better.” Lauren whispered as an ocean of silent tears began streaming down her face.** _

 

_**Camila’s heart broke at Lauren’s words, so much so that she almost changed her mind. Because she knew that Lauren had done nothing wrong, she didn’t need to ‘do better’. Lauren had always loved her so flawlessly. Camila knows that.** _

 

_**“I’m sorry.” Camila said, her voice suddenly cold and void of any emotion. As if she had just flicked a switch inside her.** _

 

_**Before Lauren could say another word, Camila had picked up her bag and walked passed Lauren as if she had never seen her before in her life. All Lauren could do was turn on her heel, and watch as Camila stepped into a waiting Escalade. She watched as Camila deliberately kept her eyes forward, not wanting to acknowledge Lauren’s presence.** _

 

_**Lauren wanted to run after her, she wanted to grab Camila, hold onto her and never let her go. Lauren wanted to tell her that she loved her more than anyone has ever loved another person, ever. She wanted to beg for another chance, and promise to fix whatever she did wrong. But Lauren couldn’t move, her feet were glued to the floor as she watched the love of her life, walk right out of her life. She was paralysed by the pain caused by her heart breaking, putting itself back together and breaking again. Over, and over. As if the universe wanted to make sure that Lauren felt each individual fracture in her heart, an infinite amount of times.** _

 

_**It was only days after that, that Camila announced she was leaving Fifth Harmony to ‘pursue a solo career'. Ally, Normani and Dinah were so mad, and accused Camila of being selfish. Lauren only felt guilty, because unbeknownst to the other girls, Lauren knew it was her fault. Lauren knew that Camila left to escape her.** _

 

 

 

 Lauren blinked as she came back to earth. She was standing, watching the empty baggage carousel circle. She took a brief look around, and realised that she was the only one standing in terminal now, until she heard someone clear her throat behind her.

 

Lauren turned around, and was met with an amused looking Lucy.

 

“There is a horse carousel nearby, if you really wanted to watch things go around in circles all day Lauren.” Lucy said, with a hint of a cheeky smirk playing on the ends of her lips.

 

Lauren chuckled as she launched herself into her girlfriend’s waiting arms. She held onto Lucy tight, breathing in her scent, the scent of familiararity and home. She had known Lucy her whole life, they spent nearly every day of their childhood and adolescence together, here in Miami. 

 

Lucy pulled back, and her expression quickly shifted from amusement to concern as she saw the tears leaving the green eyes that she loved so much.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Lucy asked, worried.

 

Lauren moved her finger tips up to her face, and felt the tears that stained her cheeks. She didn’t even realise she had been crying. It was as if her tears from her memory of Camila leaving her, somehow escaped back into the present time with her.

 

Lauren shook her head.

 

“Nothing, I just really missed you.” Lauren lied, as wrapped her arms around Lucy’s neck, pulling her into another tight hug. 

 

She wasn’t lying about missing Lucy, she always missed Lucy. But Lauren couldn’t tell Lucy that Camila was the true reason for her tears. She used to be able to tell Lucy everything, Lucy was her person. But Lucy wasn’t just her best friend anymore, she was her girlfriend now too. She couldn’t hurt her like that.

 

It never stopped being crazy to Lauren how so much changed in a single year.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to drop a comment down below, I love reading everyone's opinions and thoughts. Let me know what you think. :)


	4. Miguided Masks Of Happiness, But She Makes Everything Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the super delayed update. My life has being crazy busy lately, but this story now has my full and undivided attention. :)

Miami wasn’t known for being cold, even in winter. But this winter seemed to be different. Lauren couldn’t help but feel like the weather reflected the current state of her heart and soul; cold and miserable. As Lauren and Lucy sat on the beach, rugged up together as they talked and admired the beauty of the ocean, the cool air of the impending night whipped repeatedly at Lauren and Lucy’s faces with every crisp exhale the winter night took. 

 

“I’m so glad you are home, even if it is only for a couple of weeks.” Lucy whispered after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

 

The brunette laid her head down on Lauren’s shoulder, and nestled comfortably into the crook of the green eyed girls neck. 

 

With her arm wrapped tightly around her girlfriend, Lauren smiled softly as she let Lucy’s words sink in. Lucy always had a way of making her feel unconditionally wanted. Like Lucy’s world never spun quite right when Lauren wasn’t home with her. It was a feeling that became as imperative and necessary to Lauren, as oxygen was. After everything that had happened between her and Camila, Lauren needed to feel wanted, and she needed to be needed.

 

“I’m glad to be home too Lucy.” Lauren whispered as she placed a kiss on the top of her girlfriend’s head.

 

Lauren wasn’t sure how long they had been sitting at the beach, or how much time had passed before she realised Lucy was sleeping peacefully on her shoulder.

 

“Let’s go home baby.” Lauren said quietly as she roused her sleeping girlfriend.

 

As Lucy sat up and stretched, she let out a chuckle. A sound that managed to make Lauren smile a genuine smile for the first time in a while.

 

“I’m sorry I fell asleep!” Lucy said sheepishly.

 

Lauren laughed as well, but for a different reason. She was starting to see a pattern emerge in regards to the types of girls she dated. Ones addicted to napping. She smiled sadly again, a sad smile that seemed to escape Lucy’s attention which Lauren was thankful for. Lauren stood up and brushed the sand off her bum before stretching out her arms to help Lucy up.

 

“Thank you.” Lucy said as she stepped closer to Lauren biting her lip gently.

 

Instead of losing herself in her girlfriend’s kiss as Lucy connected Lauren’s lips with hers, the green eyed girl was lost in the concentration of willing herself to not think about Camila. To not compare how Lucy’s lips felt against hers, with how perfectly Camila’s lips used to fit with Lauren’s. She willed herself to not think about how butterflies fluttered in her stomach with every movement of Lucy’s lips, but an entire forest of every creature with wings exploded from within Lauren’s stomach with just the smallest touch of Camila lips. Lauren sighed into the kiss, wanting nothing more than to silence her inner monologue, and get lost in how much Lucy always wants her.

 

Lauren pulled away from Lucy’s lips, and immediately missed the contact and warmth of her girlfriend’s lips. Lauren craved human contact, especially from Lucy. It was a constant and insatiable craving of Lucy’s lips pressed tightly against hers, as if her girlfriend was somehow breathing oxygen into Lauren’s lungs, because her chest was in a constant state of agonising tightness, and couldn’t inhale alone. It was as if Lucy’s tight embrace kept Lauren’s body from physically succumbing to all the relentless pain she felt inside, and crumbling into an infinite amount of pieces.

 

Lauren’s eyes fluttered open, and were met with the adoring gaze of Lucy. Lauren smiled, as she physically felt the fresh air Lucy gave her fill her lungs, and her body remaining in one piece for a little while longer. Lucy always made everything okay. 

 

“Walk with me.” Lucy whispered as she intertwined her fingers with Lauren’s.

 

 

_**Lucy pulled back and cupped Lauren’s face with her soft, and warm hands. She used her thumbs to wipe the endless stream of tears falling from her best friend’s eyes. Lucy could almost feel crack, after crack as her heart broke for Lauren. Lucy took in Lauren's distraught appearance, her usually bright green eyes had dulled considerable, her face was red from crying and she was visibly shaking. She was still beautiful to Lucy though, Lauren was always beautiful.** _

 

_**“It’s going to be okay Laur, I promise. Come here.” Lucy said with as much comfort and conviction as she possibly could.** _

 

_**Lucy wrapped Lauren in a tight embrace and let her cry into the crook of her neck for a while. Once the shaking of Lauren’s body had slowed, Lucy pulled back and kissed Lauren’s forehead.** _

 

_**“Walk with me.” Lucy whispered as she pressed a second gentle and comforting kiss into Lauren’s forehead.** _

 

_**Lucy intertwined their fingers, and lead Lauren out of her front door and into her car. She didn’t have a precise destination in mind, but she did know that her best friend needed some fresh air and friend.** _

 

_**“I thought you said ‘walk with me’ not ‘drive with me’.” Lauren said as she sat in the passenger seat, attempting a half hearted joke, accompanied by a half hearted smile.** _

 

_**Lucy laughed incredulously.** _

 

_**“Lauren Jauregui, the only person I know who attempts to crack a joke before the tears on her face even dry!” Lucy replied with a cheeky grin.** _

 

_**She may have been joking, but the truth was that Lucy had always admired how strong and thoughtful Lauren was. Even when she was hurting, Lauren always tried to make the people around her laugh, so they didn’t feel sad or uncomfortable.** _

 

_**The two girls sat in silence as they drove aimlessly. After an hour, Lauren’s quiet sobs had subsided just as Lucy pulled into the parking lot at the beach.** _

 

_**Lucy put her arm around Lauren as they walked closer towards the water, before sitting side by side, a safe distance away from the incoming waves.** _

 

_**“Do you want to talk about it?” Lucy asked as she glanced at Lauren carefully, afraid of making her cry again.** _

 

_**Lucy suspected that it had something to do with Camila, but Lauren hadn’t said a word since she knocked on Lucy’s front door. Lauren had just cried, and fell into Lucy’s comforting and unquestioning embrace. Nothing in the world mattered more to Lauren than Camila, and Lucy knew that she was the only thing that could make her once strong, and stubborn best friend become so fragile and inconsolable like today.** _

 

_**Lucy watched as Lauren absentmindedly traced patterns in the sand with her fingers.** _

 

_**“Camila left me.” Lauren replied quietly after a few moments.** _

 

_**The Columbian put her arm around Lauren’s shoulders and pulled her in as close to herself as physics would allow.** _

 

_**Lucy stayed silent. She knew Lauren would continue when she was ready.** _

 

_**She wasn’t sure how much had passed before she heard Lauren exhale a shaky breath. Lucy just held her best friend tighter.** _

 

_**“She said she doesn’t love me anymore.” Lauren explained after a while. She kept her sentences short in fear of falling apart again, as if the raw cuts in her heart became deeper and deeper with word she allowed to escape her lips.** _

 

_**Lucy felt the anger boil inside her, but she chose to stay silent. Lauren didn’t need to hear a verbal lashing of Camila right now, Lauren just needed to be comforted.** _

 

_**“She said that she doesn’t love me anymore, and then she just left me standing alone in the airport.” Lauren finally explained further as she stared out toward the vastness of the ocean.** _

 

_**Anger flashed across Lucy’s face, but it was gone as fast as it came.** _

 

_**“She just left you there? Without another word?” Lucy asked in disbelief.** _

 

_**Lauren nodded as she swallowed the enormous lump that had made itself as home in her throat.** _

 

_**“Remind me that there is a nice place i’d love to shove my foot next time she is in Miami.” Lucy said with so much seriousness in her tone, that Lauren couldn’t help but laugh despite the tears that had began free-falling down her face again.** _

 

_**Lucy peppered Lauren’s face in soft an fast paced kisses, as she attempted to kiss away her best friend’s tears, earning another small laugh from her childhood friend.** _

 

_**“She doesn’t deserve your tears Lauren, and I refuse to let you waste them on her.” Lucy stated with sheer authority.** _

 

_**Lauren simply nodded as she wiped away a fresh lot of tears welling in her emerald green eyes.** _

 

_**“Thank you for always being such an incredibly friend to me Lucy.” Lauren said quietly as she rested her head on Lucy’s shoulder.** _

 

_**Lucy tucked Lauren’s straightened hair behind her ear before melting into their shared embrace,** _

 

_**“You never need to thank me for that Lauren. Now let’s go and get food, i’m hungry.” Lucy said as she stood up, pulling Lauren up with her.** _

 

_**Lauren rolled her eyes playfully.** _

 

_**“You are always hungry. You are an endless pit of food!” Lauren joked, her voice still broken with pained emotion.** _

 

_**Lucy looked over at a sleeping Lauren in the passenger seat, as she rubbed her thumb soothingly over the back of Lauren’s hand. Lucy smiled at how tight Lauren was still holding on to her hand, despite the fact she was sound asleep. It was if Lucy was her lifeline, and Lauren was afraid that she would slip away if she let go. The beautiful Columbian wondered just how emotionally exhausted her best friend must have been, they were only driving for a few minutes before Lauren had fallen into her peaceful slumber. Lucy was glad though, she was glad that Lauren had some solace, protected by her sleep and away from the hurt and pain she was feeling.** _

 

 

Lauren glanced over at her sleeping girlfriend in the passenger seat as she drove the moderate distance home. She couldn’t help but notice the goose bump along Lucy’s arms, and reached over to turn the heater on, to keep her warm.

 

The Cuban girl returned her attention to the road. She watched as the slipped away behind the houses and buildings that decorated Miami’s sky line. She smiled as she watched the pinks and purples of the sky blend into the thickening deep blue.

 

Lauren turned up the volume of the radio slightly, so as to not wake Lucy.

 

_'The story of my life,_

_I take her home._   
_I drive all night,_   
_to keep her warm._   
_And time is frozen._   
_The story of my life,_   
_I give her hope._   
_I spend her love,_   
_until she's broke Inside._   
_The story of my life.’_   


 

The rare genuine smile that had previously graced the delicate features of Lauren’s porcelain face, faltered. As the lyrics of the sung sunk in and as she glanced over at Lucy, Lauren couldn’t help the overwhelming guilt that over came her. 

 

She looked over at the peacefully sleeping Lucy again. The same Lucy that had always platonically loved her unconditionally, and her romantic love for Lauren never differed from that. The same Lucy that wiped her tears, and hugged her without asking any questions. And the same Lucy who knew deep down that a part of Lauren’s heart still belonged to Camila, but patiently hoped that someday she would have all of Lauren’s heart.

 

Lauren’s lip trembled as her vision blurred from the tears welling in her eyes.

 

The raven haired girl wondered if she was being unfair to Lucy. Lauren didn’t know if she would ever fully get over Camila, or stop loving the Cuban born brunette. But still, Lauren gives Lucy hope with every kiss, every touch, every time they sleep together, and with every day that passes in their relationship. Lauren didn’t know if it was false hope. She knew she loved Lucy, but she also knew that nobody could ever love anybody as much as she loved Camila. Maybe it was just a different kind of love with Lucy. The only thing Lauren was 100% certain of, was the feeling as though she would die before she ever made Lucy feel as broken inside, as Camila made Lauren feel. Lauren loved Lucy too much to ever let her suffer the way she herself has suffered. But a big part of Lauren knew she needed Lucy because her girlfriend made everything hurt a little bit less every day. Lucy had a beautiful way of making Lauren feel wanted, needed, and valued in her life. Feelings that Camila ripped away from Lauren, and had deprived her of for so many months. Lauren wondered if she was being selfish. 

 

It never stopped being crazy to Lauren how so much changed in a single year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope my readers all enjoyed! I apologise for any typos, I'm currently on nightshift and very tired. :(  
> But please drop a comment below! It makes my day, plus I love to hear everyones thoughts and opinions.

**Author's Note:**

> Drop a comment, and let me know what you think! Thank you for reading. :)


End file.
